Miscarriage #2

On January 13th we went to the doctor with light hearts expecting to see our 9 week old baby for the first time. We had made it through the first 8 weeks without a hitch, despite the fact that I still didn't really feel pregnant. Our hopes quickly dissipated as we watched the ultrasound screen. There was nothing there. No happy baby sucking its thumb or waving it's still stubby hands. Instead, we were greeted by an empty yolk sac. We were told to schedule an appointment for the following week to see if anything had changed.

This past Monday, we again saw the doctor. There was no improvement, no heart beat, no baby, except my uterus keeps on growing. We were given the option to have a D&E, but opted not to have this procedure. Now we wait for my body to get the memo there is no baby and miscarry.

Despite it all, David and I are grateful that we are not in control of the situation. God knows why this is happening, and we are content with that. We're not looking for answers. We simply want to remain faithful to Him. There have been dark moments, but these are part of any mourning period. Thankfully friends and family have been buoying us up, once again, on wings of prayer. Without such intercession, we surely would be desperate.

God has given me the comfort of knowing that my only responsibility is to worship Him. It's not my job to worry about whether we'll ever have children. It's not my concern to obsess about 'why me?" Instead, I choose to stand in His presence with a thankful heart. He makes all things come together for those who love Him--even when we can't see how or when that will be. Christ's perfect sacrifice gives me assurance and a solid ground on which to approach His throne and humbly offer myself--the pain of miscarriage included--to be used for His glory and honor.

Comfort Food...Hebrews 2: 10-18 and Psalm 47

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