Purpose

This is my time to heal. The year of no full-time work is a gift. God and I have a heap of business to take care of and He in His graciousness has allowed me this time to attend to matters of heart and soul.

In trying to be a good steward of this time, I've been spending several hours a day in dedicated prayer and conversation with the Lord. This is truly an act of discipline and I do not have it perfected! Last week was down right horrid when it came to God time and this week is wacky, but I am trying...very hard.

The Holy Spirit is teaching me to listen to His urgings. I'm getting into the habit of reading scripture and hearing God's voice through it. I am keenly aware of my humanness as I pursue the Holy One. On Sunday, I had an experience which I still don't fully understand. Perhaps the Lord was continuing my training as His disciple, perhaps the implications are farther reaching...

While sitting in Sunday School, I had a sudden urge to run and cry. Sadness swept over my body and I struggled to maintain my composure. Silently, I sat there trying to figure out what I was feeling and why. In the midst of my thoughts, I felt the Lord directing me to go and pray. So, I grabbed my Bible, stood up and made my way to our church's prayer room. Walking down the hall, I began to sob. The crying continued as I sat in the room completely perplexed as to what was happening.

As I asked the Lord why I was there an image came to mind. I saw a rock, representing truth, in the middle of our Sunday School room surrounded by angels facing away from the rock blowing trumpets. Off to the side was a man, with a lock on his mouth. I knew I was to pray that God's truth alone would be spoken in our Sunday School. After several minutes (with tears still streaming) I saw the reference for Ezekiel 5:6. I am ashamed to say that I have never actually read Ezekiel and therefore had no idea what this reference meant. So I read the entire fifth chapter. I felt impressed to pray through the words as though I was returning them to God, reminding Him of His own proclamations. Read Ezekiel 5. It's not exactly a joyful chapter. As I read of the Israelites fate, I was burdened to confess the sins of our local church. Sins such as generational divisions, the idols of human intellect and "wisdom", personal crusades, and disregard of instruction. Immediately after confessing these, I started to beg for mercy. I turned to Psalm 86 which mirrors sections of Ezekiel. Once I had prayed through the psalm, the tears stopped and I instinctively knew that my "mission" was over. My spirit was no longer troubled.

I share this not to boast about my relationship with God, but to document the event and show His power. While the purpose of my God encounter still remains a mystery, I know it was a Holy moment. He wants us to be sensitive to His Spirit. I have asked for this, am working toward this, and He is answering.

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